Tuesday, June 26, 2007
can someone save me here?i'm dying.not from some terminal disease, but the combination of stress and fear. the common tests are like ongoing and i just came to realise how unprepared i am. this feeling is really bad.i blank out at every physics question and nothing is going right in my revisions. but what can i do now? nothing... everything is too late. i fear of getting retained- this is the last thing i will ever hope for. seriously i know i'm gonna screw up this whole thing, i'm not trying to be pessismistic here but i know it for myself. and i hate to see how disappointed my parents would be. i just lack the self-discipline. yes, elaine you suck.now i finally see the light of my late grandfather's words... laziness is the killer. indeed, it is in the process of slowly taking my entire soul away. i'm like so fricking dead please. no miracle can save me now. all within me is just stressed...and fear, nothing else.to add on, i'm terribly worried about my grandmother. she just did an operation to have a tumour on her thighs removed.. and now it takes 2 more weeks to determine her cancer condition. it really hurts me to see her in this state, having to suffer so much but still put on a brave front.i love her alot and i would never want anything to happen to her... she's the best and most courageous grandmother ever. she has to be alrite, but will she?and then there's daddy, i know he really loves me alot. He's the only one in the family who dotes on me; never bearing to scold me and always fulfilling all my wants.. but now i'm going to sadden him badly with my poor results. i can't take this anymore.oh man i just feel super useless now.
elaine ; always remembered
8:29 AM
