Wednesday, January 24, 2007
im tired; in both ways. note: this is gonna be a personal emo entry. im not just physically tired, but also emotionally tired. im tired of my life. im tired of trying so hard to talk to claire but still dont get anything out of it. i'm tired of initiating conversations with quiet people. im tired of all those sian responses. im tired of getting hurt by friendship problems.a few days ago i was still ranting to jess bout how i was enjoying my start of the year. now i feel i should take my words back. im tired of spending off my money and realising that im broke in the end. im tired of being so careless and getting angry with myself after that. i hate part of my character; it just sucks. im tired of facing people who rants bout how thin i am. ive been trying my best to eat, really. no one knows it better than i do. so please stop torturing me with this issue. im tired of seeing how my dad reduces his diet. i dont want him to be like that, i want my dad like how he was 2 years ago. im really really tired of the many family problems.im tired of seeing my messy room everyday. im tired of getting nagged and threatened to pack it up. its not that i dont want to, but i just dont know where i should start from.im tired of not understanding the lectures and tutorials. im tired of seeing how everyone is able to do their work but i just dont seem to comprehend them. im tired of being lost at lessons. im such a failure.im worried bout my Olevel results, seriously. reality is gonna show that i dont belong to SA. i liked the school, but im feeling pretty lost bout everything right now. and i have no idea why, so forget it.i need a break; plus some emotional support. currently, im financially and emotionally weak. i need to learn to save, work hard and be a better friend. perhaps i need to be more optimisstic as well. but sad to say, at this point of time, i cant.elaine you suck. im lost in my own life. god, please guide me through this.
elaine ; always remembered
6:09 AM
